18 Letting Go

They slept until mid morning. Richie was first to wake up but didn't want move, he was still holding Jon and wasn't sure if he was still asleep and dreaming or not. Next to him Jon slowly woke up and snuggled closer to him, he was a bit surprised he was snuggling into a man's chest and not Dot's. Richie smiled when Jon realized where he was and cuddled even more, Richie held him tight.

"Air?" Jon asked.
Richie loosened his hold a little. "Sorry." He smiled and finally actually opened his eyes. "Morning."
"You mean good morning."
"Fantastic, perfect, great, good, take your pick."
"Fantastic then." Jon decided on a fitting word.
"Agreed." Richie agreed and kissed him.
Jon kissed him back.
Richie was reluctant to get out of bed but his bladded said he had to. "Back in a minute." Very reluctantly he got up.
Jon reluctantly let go of him and waited.
Richie was back within a few minutes and crawled back in bed.
Jon cuddles close right away. "Morning." He said again.
"Suprisingly still is morning. Actually up before noon."
"I  need to work today." Jon pouted.
"Wish you didn't." Richie matched his expression and pouted too.
"I have to but you could come with me. Everyone would like to see you, we all miss you."
"I miss everyone too. I’m glad the one I miss the most is here now though."
"Me too." Jon agreed, happy he was with Richie.
Richie kissed him, rather staying just in bed and not let Jon go to work later.
"We don’t have to leave yet."
"I know, I just don’t want to get out of bed." Richie said.
"We don’t have to."
"I think the guys would come looking for you if we didn’t. Not to mention the angry mob of fans that would show up." Richie chuckled.
"No we don’t have to get out of bed yet, still have a few more hours before I really have to leave." Jon explained.
"Still not long enough." Richie pouted.
"I’ll be here after the concert too."
"I know, it’s tomorrow morning I’m not looking forward to." Richie sighed.
"Me neither."
Richie just held him, enjoying the closeness.
"And then the tour will be almost over."
"Almost only counts in horseshoes, hand grenades, nuclear warfare and blackjack."
"Fine. Then the tour will be over in a week." Jon said.
"For a bit it will anyway. Just this leg."
"Yeah but you’re coming on the next leg? Right?" Jon almost panicked.
"I certainly plan on it."
"Good, almost made me panic."
"I feel bad enough as it is not being there for this past bit." Richie said.
"I feel bad enough for making you miss this part."
"It was my fault for being so forward." He shouldn't have kissed Jon like that, the first time.
"My fault for being an idiot and grabbing a knife."
"You didn’t mean to." Richie tried.
"Still stupid." Jon snorted.
"But something good came out of it."
"Yeah but still."
"But I’m fine now." Richie assured him.
"I hope so, it’s was a really long cut."
Richie pulled the blankets down. "It's fine now.
"But you’ll have a scar."
"Scars are sexy." Richie countered.
"That much of a scar?"
"Yup."
"If you say so." Jon didn't know what more to say and kissed Richie.

Richie smiled and kissed hi back, pulling him right against him. Jon moved closed, still kissing him and Richie's hand naturally moved to Jon's ass while Jon moved his own arm to Richie's back.

Richie vaguely recalled telling Jon he'd let him top but figured Jon would just tell him when he wanted more. Jon's mind wasn't even that far and continued kissing him, he wasn't thinking of sex. Richie held him, but couldn't help getting hard, feeling Jon's erection too.

Sure of what they were both feeling, Richie grinded into Jon, making Jon do the same. Turned on, Richie groaned into the kiss.

A few minutes later Jon tried to pull back a little, but Richie held him closer, reluctantly to let him go even a little.

"Need to breathe." Jon said.
"We are breathing." Richie pointed out to him.
"Need a break to breathe then." Jon clarified, catching his breath.
"Sorry." Richie let go and backed off.
"You don't need to move away."
"You wanted room to breathe."
"No." Jon said, confused.
"You just said..."
"Break, didn't say room." Jon corrected him.
"Not much difference in my experience."
"No? I just want to breath, I don’t want you to move." Jon pulled him closer.
Richie let him and felt stupid for what he did. "Sorry."
"Happens, stay here."
"That wasn’t fair of me. still sorry."
Jon stayed confused. "What?"
"Pushing back that much, bad memory, not important." He snuggled up against Jon.
"Tell me?" Jon asked gently.
"It’s not important and it ended badly."
"So tell me." He wanted to know, maybe he could help.

"I don’t want to think about it." He tried to push it away from his mind, he really didn't want to talk about it. "It was a long time ago."
"Okay fine." Jon still cuddled really close, when Richie didn't say anymore, he added, "I'm sorry."
"It’s not your fault, I’m the one that should be sorry for reacting like that to simple words."
"You could tell me, might help." Jon tried again but Richie dind't react this time either and traced random patterns along Jon's side. "Up to you." Jon told him.
Richie stayed quiet for a few omre moments. "Danny. You met him a few times, back then. Always around, you guys all thought he was just part of the crew or something. He wasn’t, he- " Richie paused, remembering. "I loved him. We’d met in some bar somewhere, hit it off, had some drinks. He stuck around. We were together for over a year, then the band got big with Slippery. Well, you know what I was like then. Who would believe that I had a secret boyfriend that I really loved? I got caught up in the life of the band. But no matter how bad I got, no matter how deep I got into the rock star life, Danny was still there. He was a constant in that life. I needed him a lot, to remind me of what life really was about. Keep me from getting lost." His voice was soft, he smiled sadly in remembrance. "but then one day, we were together, I thought we were happy. He said he needed a bit of a break, some room to breathe." His voice caught in his throat. "I haven’t seen him since."
When he finished explaining, Jon was surprised how long the explanation was and was still trying to get it all in. "I’m not gonna leave you, 30 years of brotherhood, you mean a lot for me. I wouldn’t do that to you."

"I know that, I do." Richie looked up into Jon's eyes. "But that doesn’t mean that part of me isn’t going to be scared."

"You don’t have to be."
"I know that, and I’m trying not to be, but I can’t just stop like that." Richie sighed.
"Okay, at least you know, I’m not just gonna leave you like that, whatever happens, you’re still my best friend." Jon assured him.
Richie couldn't help the smile from forming on his face. "I know that. I’d never let you go if you ever tried anyway."
"Good." Jon kissed him again.
Richie kissed him back, holding him close. "I love you Jon."
"I know you do."

Richie cuddles close, still a bit subdued from the memories of the past as Jon kissed him. Again, Richie let his hands roam over Jon's body, knowing Jon would like it, he started grinding against him and groaning into the kiss.

Jon took the hints and kissed deeper and more passionate, making Richie forget all those bad memories and enjoy doing this with Jon.

Jon wanted more but didn't dare ask for it, he was relieved when Richie pulled back and asked for more.

"Still want to top?" He asked.
"That’s sex... thought you wanted to save that for later?"
"But you wanted to learn." Richie pointed out.
"But you wanted to save it for later." Jon reminded him.
"I know I said that, but what do you want?"
"We should keep that for later and then you could make it more special even."Jon decided.
"And for now?"
"We can do something else?" Jon asked, hoping Richie still wanted to continue what they were doing.
"Can do that." He carried on grinding against Jon.
"I really like that."
"So do I". Richie agreed.
"We can keep doing that for like...."

Richie silenced him by kissing him and grinding harder against him. Jon groaned, grinding back, he would be totally happy if they did that forever. Richie wrapped his hand around both their cocks again, making Jon groan and moan.

Richie was impossibly turned on just from the sounds Jon was making.

Jon felt the same and let his wonderful orgasm wash over him.

Richie stroked faster and came too.

"I’m good if we just do this forever."
Richie smiled. "And it only gets better."
"What do you mean?"

"You’ll find out when we get there."
"We’re keeping that for later." Jon reminded him. "When I decide, I promise you can do anything you want when I make my decision."
Richie noticed that he was as good as saying he already made his decision, but wisely kept his mouth shut. "I'll hold you to that promised." And kissed him.