8 This is Real Life

A few days later Jon called Dorothea, as a good husband that phoned his wife every couple days when he wasn't home.

Right away he asked how everything was at home.

"Everything’s good, the kids are good, what about you? What happened with Richie? I heard he’s out for awhile?" Dorothea asked.
"Yeah its a really long story but he had to go home. He should be back when we go out in May." Jon sighed.
"Is he going to be alright? What happened?" Dorothea obviously sounded worried.
"Well..." Jon hesitated. "I can tell you anything right? You’ll love me just as much?"
"Of course." She sounded more and more confused.
"Okay... I cut his leg off with a bread knife"
"You WHAT?!" She yelled at him, completely shocked. "Jon, what do you mean you cut off his leg? What did you do? Why?"
"I didn’t do that but now the truth won’t be as bad as it seems."
"Not as bad as cutting his leg off? What the hell happened Jon?" She sounded more and more worried.
"I sliced his leg open... See? Huge difference, his leg is still attached." Jon said as if it was that much better.
"How did you slice his leg open? Jon?" Not only did she sound worried but more annoyed that he didn't tell the full story at once.
"With a knife, a bread knife but it was accident, I really didn’t mean to. I just didn’t realize what I was doing til it was done."
"Jon, what aren’t you telling me?"
He knew he couldn't hide anything from her, it had never worked. "That’s what happened."
"But why? What would make you do that?"
"Okay, remember that it was an accident, keyword, accident." Jon said.
"Accident, I hear you, now explain." She demanded
"So me and Richie were just having breakfast, just regular breakfast, nothing out of the ordinary. Was cutting up some buns with one of those big bread knives and all of a sudden he started kissing me and I panicked, pulled the knife down and cut him. I didn’t mean to." He really hadn't meant to.

Dorothea didn't answer him for a while, taking a moment to process what Jon had just said, then sighed.

"How do you feel about it?" she finally asked;
"What? I feel bad for doing that."
"Not cutting him Jon." She sighed again. "Kissing him. I know he loves you..."
"You know? Why does everyone know this except for me?!" He said just as annoyed as when Matt and David had known.
"It’s not hard to see the way he looks at you Jon."
"I must be pretty blind." He still sounded annoyed.
"No, just not looking." Dorothea's voice sounded relaxed again.
"How can I have missed this then? What am I gonna do?"
Dorothea sighed. "Stop over thinking things and just go with your gut Jon."
"I don’t know what my gut is. You’re the one I love." He insisted.
"Then you wouldn’t be having such a panic attack if that was as true as it used to be."
"What?" He asked shocked. "You think I don’t love you anymore? You don’t love me anymore?"
"Of course I love you Jon, but I’m not blind, I see how you look at him too."
"I don't look at him!" Jon said annoyed again.
Dorothea sighed again. "You do Jon, you just don't even realize you are."
"I don't. I love you." Jon kept insisting.
"You do look at him Jon, and I know you love me, but anyone can see that you love him too."
"Not in that way, as my friend, not like that. since when did he even turn gay?"
"He’s been bisexual for ages Jon, you just don’t see it." Dorothea said.
"And everyone knew this, yet nobody ever thought to maybe inform me about it." Jon still wondered about it.
"We all thought you knew, and if you didn’t, it wasn’t for the rest of us to tell, it was for Richie to tell you."
" Don’t really care who would have told me, just somebody. And since when did he decide to love me in that way? He’s always making fun of me." Jon said.
"He teases you, not much different than when I do actually. He’s always loved you I think." She said honestly.
"You were fine with getting married while someone else loved me?" Jon asked.
"I love you too, you chose me then, you didn’t know about him." Dorothea explained.
"What if I had known about it?" Jon asked, wanting to know what she thought he would have decided back then.
Dorothea sighed and hesitated. "Then I think... I think you'd have chosen him."
"Seriously?" He was taken aback.
"As much as I hate to say it, yes."
"But then we wouldn’t be married... I don’t want to get a divorce."
"And you think that I honestly do?"
"You just admitted you thought  I’d marry someone else instead of you so I’m just assuming you’d just drop me right now." Not once since the annoyance in his voice showed up, did it leave.
"That’s not true Jon, but if I knew you’d be happier somewhere else, then, well, I’d rather you were happy." She said honestly.
"But I’m not gonna be happier somewhere else, Richie might be gay but I’m not."
"Then this whole argument is for no reason." Dorothea concluded.
"That solves it then."
"Guess it does."
Jon only got more annoyed and aggravated. "Sure if that’s called solved, I’m getting a divorce and now apparently I’m gay, just fucking wonderful!"
"Things will be alright Jon." She was just as upset about the matter but had expected it to happen eventually.
"How does that even sound close to being alright?"
"I didn’t say it would be right away. It’ll take time."
"Getting divorced doesn’t sound okay in a few months either. It doesn’t sound good at all. I don’t want to get a divorce. Why are we getting divorced?" He asked confused why they were getting divorced right now.
"You’re falling for someone else, you’re just the last person to realize it." Dot reminded him.
"I’m not, I thought I was the one that’s in control of my feelings, not everyone that tells me what I feel. Me, my feelings."
"No one’s telling you how you feel, only telling you what we see, what I see." She tried to explain.
"Everyone’s telling me what I feel. Because they all think they see something so I must feel something else. I don’t feel anything." He insisted.
"Stop thinking about it. You’re thinking too much. Just sit in your room, and just feel Jon, that’s the only way you’ll know anything." She tried to encourage him to figure it out.
"I don’t need to concentrate on feeling, I know what I feel."
"Then stop panicking."
"I’m not panicking either, I'm just dandy." Jon said sarcastically.
"That’s why you’ve been yelling right?"

"Think I can talk as loud as I want 'cause that's how I feel." He said annoyed.

"I understand that Jon, I do."

"You do? Did your best friend fall in love with you 30 years ago?" Jon asked.
"Alright, I don’t understand that part of it, but I get you’re upset."
Jon sighed very deeply. "I'm fine."
"You'll figure things out Jon, you always do."
"But I love you."
"and I love you too Jon, always have, always will."
"Then what's the problem?" He asked confused about the matter again.
"You have to decide what to do about Richie."

"And then what? either ruin my friendship or my marriage." He sighed.
"Richie will love you either way, and for that matter so will I. And the kids would understand either way as well."
"But I don't understand." Jon said.
"Then think a little bit about it, but don’t think it to death." She tried to encourage again.
"I don’t know what to do. can’t I just love you?"
"I’d be happy with that, but would you?" Dorothea asked.
"Yeah." Jon said sure of himself.
"Then tell Richie that when you talk to him next."
"I guess I should."
"It would be better than stringing him along." She advised him.
"Yeah it would be." Jon decided. "I'll do that."
"Good."
"Do you hate me now?" He asked worried.
"No."
"Still love me?" He hoped.
"Always will."

"I love you too. I have to go, I'll call you in a few days or so."
"Alright, I love you." Dot said and Jon ended the call.